Accidental Animal-ist

Just lost my delicious, juicy, lovingly prepared sandwich to the dog.

Again.

All I can hear is the sound of the dog chomping down on the rotting flesh of a lamb bone. The world could literally come to an end right now and that dog wouldn't raise an eyebrow (do dogs have eyebrows?) because that bone is just too delicious.

Good news - the dog and I have officially made it through our first day of 'working from home'.

Actually, it was me working from home while trying to keep the pesky dog entertained.

Still - we made it without any major incidents, wet patches or chewed shoes.

Thankfully the wife gets home in 10 minutes to take over the 'babysitting' duties while I whinge and whine about how tough my day has been.

I feel like the dog and I may have come to some sort of an understanding ... or a peace treaty.

Day #3 with the new dog and things are going downhill fast ...

This morning I woke up to the dog in our bed, licking my ear.

Later on, the dog decided that the mail lady was a demon and started barking and lunging at the door. Being a German Shepherd and not at all petite, I half expected the door to fly open.

But it didn't.

Luckily for the mail lady and my bank account - the door stayed shut.

Unfortunately, I still have 4 hours of home working time left before the wife (also potentially a demon) comes home to relieve me.

"I guess it's fine to have a dog, even if it was 'sprung' on me at the end of a busy day."

At least, that's what I thought going to sleep last night before waking up and finding my big lump of a K-9 wedged firmly between my wife and I on our bed.

Then, with her big brown eyes staring straight at me, she proceeded to lick ... no ... swallow ... my ear. 

I suspect it was her peace offering. Or a declaration of war. 

Either way - I'm not a happy camper.

p.s. We only have a queen bed so adding one large German Shepherd to the mix isn't a good thing. 

p.p.s. Would like to meet her? I have photos ...

Oh. Great.

The dog has a thing for Coke.

Next thing you know - she'll start to like M&Ms and all my other favorite food bits.

The female witch doctor

Damn it.

By bringing home a dog my wife not only gave away our couch (the German Shepherd now seems to call that home) but also tapped into my little secret - which is that I really want a dog!

What am I going to say to that? It's not like I can give it back.

Stupid witch doctor wife (just kidding honey bunch - love you!) - if only she used her immense powers for good and not evil.

p.s. I'm currently refusing to acknowledge the dog's name partly out of the fact that I had no say and partly because I secretly want a dog so I can't get mad.

The accidental animal-ist

I came home last night, like you do, and walked straight into the kitchen. Expecting a sandwich, I opened the fridge only to see a lot of sausages.

Fine - I like sausages.

Then I turned around to see a weird small mattress with a slightly yellow stain marking the center.

Great - what the hell is that?

Of course - I didn't get too long to think before in comes this bounding blur of white, slobber and a dog bone.

"Welcome home honey. This is our new dog. Her name is Lucy."